Mid-summer madness has descended upon our coolest small town and we’re paying it forward by releasing our comments on this gem to the world. Enjoy!?
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Episode Transcript
[0:00:01 – 0:00:05] Erik: Earliest record pre-10 o’clock.
[0:00:06 – 0:00:16] Erik: Mosa’s coming at you from Studio K. Sun is shining here from sunny Studio K. No pulp allowed, baby.
[0:00:16 – 0:00:16] Adam: No pulp.
[0:00:17 – 0:00:22] Erik: It’s been strained out by some underappreciated robot.
[0:00:24 – 0:00:25] Adam: That’s not still a job.
[0:00:26 – 0:00:27] Erik: No, I would hope not.
[0:00:27 – 0:00:28] Erik: Yikes.
[0:00:28 – 0:00:29] Erik: Maybe that’s why it’s so expensive, though.
[0:00:30 – 0:00:30] Adam: Mm-hmm.
[0:00:31 – 0:00:54] Erik: yep uh tumble home cinema classics thank you for being there we’re talking what the hell is this thing even called again surviving crooked lake this is a real deep cut only on dvd only on dvd did you try to look into so you know it’s good any kind of other alternative media source to never i couldn’t find it and i can find anything
[0:00:55 – 0:01:01] Adam: Not even on your Ukrainian… Before we started, I said, do we think it’s a good sign or not?
[0:01:01 – 0:01:04] Adam: This is only available on this one DVD.
[0:01:04 – 0:01:05] Adam: We have the only copy, I think.
[0:01:06 – 0:01:10] Adam: This is the one they sent around to all the film festivals in Florida.
[0:01:11 – 0:01:12] Erik: Yeah, don’t forget.
[0:01:12 – 0:01:14] Erik: What are the film festivals again?
[0:01:14 – 0:01:14] Adam: 2008 Slamdance Winner.
[0:01:17 – 0:01:17] Erik: Winner.
[0:01:18 – 0:01:19] Adam: You should look up what Slamdance is.
[0:01:19 – 0:01:24] Adam: The Fort Lauderdale International Film Festival.
[0:01:24 – 0:01:25] Erik: Official selection.
[0:01:25 – 0:01:26] Erik: What does that even mean?
[0:01:26 – 0:01:29] Adam: It means they played it in some room.
[0:01:29 – 0:01:30] Adam: A dark room.
[0:01:30 – 0:01:32] Adam: Mostly people were in there for the free AC.
[0:01:33 – 0:01:34] Adam: The Atlantic Film Festival.
[0:01:35 – 0:01:36] Adam: And the Whistler.
[0:01:36 – 0:01:37] Adam: They got into Whistler.
[0:01:37 – 0:01:39] Adam: That’s the only one I’ve ever heard of.
[0:01:39 – 0:01:41] Erik: Slamdance Film Festival.
[0:01:41 – 0:01:42] Adam: 2008 Slamdance.
[0:01:44 – 0:01:51] Adam: So it was at all these 2008 film festivals, but then on the case here, it lists the date.
[0:01:51 – 0:01:53] Adam: It’s a 2010 movie, it says.
[0:01:53 – 0:01:55] Adam: I don’t know when it came out.
[0:01:56 – 0:02:08] Erik: Okay, so the Slamdance Film Festival is a showcase for raw and innovative filmmaking that lives and bleeds by its mantra, for filmmakers, by filmmakers.
[0:02:10 – 0:02:14] Erik: It looks like they work mostly in filmmakers who are doing their first project.
[0:02:15 – 0:02:15] Adam: Yeah.
[0:02:16 – 0:02:25] Adam: So this was definitely made in 2008 using the Ontario Media Development Corporation and the Ontario Film Video Tax Credit.
[0:02:26 – 0:02:27] Erik: Well, that’s the thing with Canada.
[0:02:28 – 0:02:32] Adam: And then it was later picked up in 2010 by Neoclassics Film.
[0:02:32 – 0:02:33] Adam: Yeah.
[0:02:33 – 0:02:36] Adam: Did you watch any of the previews for the other movies?
[0:02:36 – 0:02:37] Adam: No, I skipped right away.
[0:02:37 – 0:02:39] Adam: I couldn’t handle the previews.
[0:02:39 – 0:02:46] Erik: You didn’t watch the one about the guy that was like, pretended to be like a astronaut for all the kids?
[0:02:46 – 0:02:47] Erik: No.
[0:02:47 – 0:02:47] Erik: Okay.
[0:02:47 – 0:02:48] Erik: Wow.
[0:02:48 – 0:02:49] Erik: I really wish you would have watched the previews.
[0:02:49 – 0:02:51] Erik: They were much more exciting than this movie.
[0:02:52 – 0:03:11] Adam: uh probably well let’s we’ll talk about it as best we can this one is a real oddball surviving crooked lake the first thing uh that i noticed before we started watching it is that it has three directors too yeah so not only three first-time directors i’m gonna go ahead and say it
[0:03:11 – 0:03:12] Erik: Yeah.
[0:03:12 – 0:03:13] Adam: I don’t know.
[0:03:13 – 0:03:17] Adam: They don’t have a Wikipedia page, so we have no way to find out what happened to their careers.
[0:03:17 – 0:03:32] Erik: There’s a 41-minute making of, which I watched the first five minutes of, where it’s just them in a studio, like, bloviating about how they’re, like, all these influences, and it’s like, this is super awkward, guys.
[0:03:34 – 0:03:36] Erik: I get the attempt at making a movie.
[0:03:36 – 0:03:36] Erik: That’s cool.
[0:03:36 – 0:03:38] Erik: Like, more power to you.
[0:03:38 – 0:03:40] Erik: I have not made a movie in my life before.
[0:03:40 – 0:03:46] Erik: But you don’t get to sit back afterwards and basically sit in the glow, the afterglow of making a movie.
[0:03:46 – 0:03:47] Adam: Nobody even asked.
[0:03:48 – 0:03:48] Adam: No.
[0:03:48 – 0:03:52] Adam: Nobody wanted to know your deeper thoughts on the movie after seeing the movie.
[0:03:52 – 0:03:52] Erik: Yeah.
[0:03:52 – 0:04:01] Erik: So there is a 41-minute making of extra and an audio commentary that you can turn on while you watch the movie.
[0:04:01 – 0:04:28] Erik: oh god yeah and i didn’t go down that road because i could not handle watching uh this i will never watch this movie ever again and i don’t i would never watch it again either i don’t recommend you watch it so this is simply just for pure entertainment of basically trashing uh a really weird and awkward mood bad story everything about it is just like
[0:04:28 – 0:04:34] Erik: Kind of even bordering on not even funny bad, in my opinion.
[0:04:34 – 0:04:38] Erik: At the end, I was watching it at double speed because nothing was happening.
[0:04:38 – 0:04:40] Adam: Yeah, there is no plot, for one.
[0:04:41 – 0:04:43] Adam: I mean, one thing happens.
[0:04:43 – 0:04:44] Adam: One thing happens.
[0:04:44 – 0:04:45] Adam: So let’s just start.
[0:04:45 – 0:04:47] Adam: And nothing else happens.
[0:04:48 – 0:04:50] Erik: So it just starts in a camp?
[0:04:50 – 0:04:51] Erik: Yeah.
[0:04:51 – 0:04:54] Erik: Everything is so vague, too, in this movie, where it’s like, where are they?
[0:04:54 – 0:04:55] Erik: What’s happening?
[0:04:56 – 0:04:57] Erik: How are they friends?
[0:04:57 – 0:04:57] Erik: Yeah.
[0:04:57 – 0:04:59] Erik: They’re the Juniper Girls, Eric.
[0:04:59 – 0:05:00] Erik: I do have that written down.
[0:05:00 – 0:05:05] Erik: They are the Juniper Girls, and their names are the same in the movie as the actors.
[0:05:05 – 0:05:07] Adam: Yes, you caught that.
[0:05:07 – 0:05:07] Erik: Oh, yeah.
[0:05:07 – 0:05:15] Erik: And it just starts with them in camp, and again, a vastly superior movie.
[0:05:15 – 0:05:23] Erik: Not even feel comfortable comparing it to Whitewater Summer, but it does start with inner monologue, and then it just goes away.
[0:05:23 – 0:05:25] Erik: Stephanie is like… Steph.
[0:05:26 – 0:05:27] Erik: Steph talking.
[0:05:27 – 0:05:29] Adam: Do you notice how Steph was spelled?
[0:05:29 – 0:05:33] Adam: It’s S-T-E-F-H. What?
[0:05:34 – 0:05:34] Erik: F-H?
[0:05:35 – 0:05:38] Erik: F-H, not P. There’s no P in… That’s bad.
[0:05:38 – 0:05:41] Erik: That’s like a friend in… Not even a friend.
[0:05:41 – 0:05:47] Erik: An associate of mine in high school that spelled his name Tom, T-H-O-M. Oh, God.
[0:05:47 – 0:05:48] Adam: It’s like, come on, man.
[0:05:48 – 0:05:49] Adam: You’re just trying too hard to make your name different.
[0:05:50 – 0:05:56] Erik: Anyway, yeah, it just starts with her talking about how they’re going on a big canoe trip.
[0:05:56 – 0:06:03] Erik: She’s scared of water because her dad died in water, which we don’t learn about until later.
[0:06:03 – 0:06:04] Erik: And then…
[0:06:05 – 0:06:08] Erik: I mean, the acting just straight away is just like, okay, here we go.
[0:06:09 – 0:06:10] Adam: Her dad didn’t die in water.
[0:06:10 – 0:06:12] Adam: He got smoked by a speedboat, Eric.
[0:06:14 – 0:06:20] Adam: Which we find out in the last five minutes in the movie after she’s already overcome her fear of water.
[0:06:21 – 0:06:26] Adam: So there was a missed opportunity for character development and growth.
[0:06:27 – 0:06:27] Erik: Right.
[0:06:27 – 0:06:31] Erik: But so the water is like the super it’s like very apparent right away.
[0:06:31 – 0:06:32] Erik: She’s scared of water.
[0:06:32 – 0:06:32] Erik: Yeah.
[0:06:32 – 0:06:34] Erik: And here she is going on a big canoe trip.
[0:06:34 – 0:06:38] Erik: It’s like, OK, well, why are you going on a big canoe trip?
[0:06:38 – 0:06:39] Erik: Are you being forced into this?
[0:06:39 – 0:06:40] Adam: Yeah.
[0:06:40 – 0:06:43] Adam: It’s the final phase of the juniper girls of the camp.
[0:06:43 – 0:06:47] Adam: Yeah, I think it seemed to me like they were going to this camp for many years.
[0:06:48 – 0:06:54] Adam: And then your last summer at Juniper Girls Camp, it’s a rite of passage.
[0:06:54 – 0:06:54] Adam: Yes.
[0:06:54 – 0:07:02] Adam: You got to take your big canoe trip into apparently a void in which nobody knows where you are and nobody knows how we got anywhere.
[0:07:03 – 0:07:09] Erik: Yeah, which in the movie is represented as a void, but on filming location is just like a county park.
[0:07:09 – 0:07:12] Adam: Yeah, there’s cabins in the background.
[0:07:12 – 0:07:13] Erik: You can see cabins the one time.
[0:07:13 – 0:07:14] Erik: Just go to the cabin.
[0:07:14 – 0:07:17] Erik: She’s like scanning over the lake and there’s literally a building.
[0:07:17 – 0:07:18] Erik: Natalie’s like, there’s a cabin.
[0:07:19 – 0:07:20] Adam: Yeah, I saw that too.
[0:07:20 – 0:07:22] Adam: Jesus, there’s like a mowed lawn in one part.
[0:07:22 – 0:07:23] Adam: Yeah, it’s all right.
[0:07:23 – 0:07:24] Adam: Check out that lawn.
[0:07:24 – 0:07:26] Adam: They might be playing bocce ball over there.
[0:07:26 – 0:07:38] Erik: The staff watched this before I did at Clearwater, and they didn’t notice that the guide was Steph’s brother.
[0:07:40 – 0:07:43] Adam: Oh, that was pretty clear that he took the trip on just to convince her to go.
[0:07:43 – 0:07:44] Erik: Right.
[0:07:44 – 0:07:47] Erik: So when I was talking with them, they were like, yeah, we didn’t realize that.
[0:07:47 – 0:07:50] Erik: I was like, no, it was pretty clear in the beginning that it was her brother.
[0:07:50 – 0:07:51] Erik: That would make it even weirder.
[0:07:51 – 0:07:54] Erik: No, that’s when they said that they thought that was like the biggest twist of the movie.
[0:07:54 – 0:07:59] Erik: I was like, no, he basically said right away he’s going to switch with another guide to go on her trip because she’s scared.
[0:07:59 – 0:07:59] Erik: He’s going to get a little cis.
[0:08:02 – 0:08:04] Adam: I guess this is something I had to do.
[0:08:05 – 0:08:08] Adam: She just basically gets dragged into it by dumb Jonah.
[0:08:08 – 0:08:10] Adam: Her idiot brother.
[0:08:10 – 0:08:15] Erik: Her idiot brother who’s a guide and they’re at Crooked Lake Lodge.
[0:08:15 – 0:08:20] Erik: I did see that on a few life jackets and I did watch all the credits and it is in real place.
[0:08:20 – 0:08:21] Erik: Crooked Lake Lodge.
[0:08:22 – 0:08:30] Erik: And then we get the classic shaky iMovie font for the final surviving Crooked Lake.
[0:08:30 – 0:08:55] Erik: yeah with that sweet font and over the credits they they’re like kind of again like whitewater summer on like a trip to the canoe trip in a car and at one point they stop at a gas station and just take a picture of like an eccentric guy remember that where he’s just like there’s just a dude in a gas station parking lot and this one girl just takes a picture of him and he like gives like double hang tens or something i wonder if that’s one of the directors i don’t know
[0:08:55 – 0:09:21] Erik: made an appearance in his own film yep which of the juniper girls which do you uh associate with yeah which one are you well let’s so there’s alicia alicia morgan candace and stephanie steph steph yeah i definitely don’t associate with steph i’d say i’m whatever the one that gets butt sick in the movie is candace candace yeah yeah i’m probably mostly i’m definitely candace that you know can see us both being candaces yeah we’re definitely not steph
[0:09:21 – 0:09:24] Erik: Not the one that walks down the railroad tracks for two minutes.
[0:09:24 – 0:09:26] Adam: Definitely not dumb Alicia.
[0:09:26 – 0:09:26] Erik: No.
[0:09:27 – 0:09:30] Adam: She literally, all right, I’m going to go ahead and say it right now.
[0:09:30 – 0:09:34] Adam: Alicia’s definitely related in some way to one of the three directors.
[0:09:34 – 0:09:35] Adam: That’s how she got that part.
[0:09:35 – 0:09:36] Erik: I don’t know.
[0:09:36 – 0:09:37] Erik: She can’t act.
[0:09:37 – 0:10:07] Erik: Well, they did talk in the making of about how they wanted the movie, it was going to be boys, and one girl, and then they did casting, and they were so impressed by all these girls that they switched it to these girls because they were such incredible actors, and they were able to conceptualize this movie in a way that just boys, these teen boys hadn’t developed enough to fully understand, but these girls did, and they had a real true connection with each other that really came out on the screen.
[0:10:07 – 0:10:08] Adam: Yeah, right.
[0:10:08 – 0:10:09] Adam: That’s just his sister.
[0:10:09 – 0:10:10] Adam: She wanted to be in the movie.
[0:10:10 – 0:10:13] Adam: So, yeah, definitely not in Alicia.
[0:10:13 – 0:10:14] Adam: And…
[0:10:16 – 0:10:16] Adam: Not a Morgan.
[0:10:17 – 0:10:17] Erik: No.
[0:10:18 – 0:10:19] Erik: But… She’s the flirt, right?
[0:10:19 – 0:10:20] Erik: Mm-hmm.
[0:10:20 – 0:10:28] Erik: Which is, again, one of the weirdest parts of this movie is the guide and basically like a 12, 13, maybe 14-year-old girl.
[0:10:29 – 0:10:38] Erik: And even some of the way that this movie was shot when they’re like swimming and stuff, like I was alone watching this movie and I was kind of bothered by…
[0:10:38 – 0:10:43] Adam: Yeah, was there going to be, like, real close-up slow-mos of the boys swimming?
[0:10:43 – 0:10:44] Adam: I don’t know.
[0:10:44 – 0:10:45] Adam: If it was going to be boys instead?
[0:10:45 – 0:10:46] Erik: But it was real close-up.
[0:10:46 – 0:10:51] Adam: Because it seemed like there was a lot of the movie that was just, like, uncomfortable close-ups of teenage girls.
[0:10:51 – 0:10:52] Adam: Like, tween girls.
[0:10:53 – 0:10:54] Erik: Like, not, like, no.
[0:10:54 – 0:10:58] Erik: Like, way closer to a child than, like, you know, like your…
[0:10:59 – 0:10:59] Erik: They were children.
[0:11:00 – 0:11:01] Erik: College, you know, you get your…
[0:11:01 – 0:11:04] Erik: I don’t even know what you call those movies where it’s like…
[0:11:04 – 0:11:24] Erik: yeah the big dumb comedies where there’s yeah just gratuitous nudity and like it was not that where you can clearly tell like well that’s that woman 30 years old she’s not in college these girls were like very clearly in middle school in their like early teens which in the box too it literally starts out in this sensual intense adventure drama
[0:11:25 – 0:11:26] Erik: Yeah, it shouldn’t be sensual.
[0:11:27 – 0:11:31] Adam: Yeah, that’s the first word they used on the description on their own DVD box.
[0:11:31 – 0:11:32] Adam: Sensual?
[0:11:32 – 0:11:45] Erik: Yeah, gangly, stick, undeveloped teen girls where they’re in bikinis, swimming within the first 20 minutes of the movie, and they spend a lot of time with low angles of midriffs and crotches and stuff.
[0:11:45 – 0:11:46] Erik: And it was just like…
[0:11:47 – 0:11:48] Erik: All right, come on.
[0:11:49 – 0:11:50] Erik: Let’s get by this.
[0:11:50 – 0:12:02] Erik: But I did say at one point here in my notes that they actually are portaging because Jonah is carrying a canoe the right way at one point, but then it immediately cuts to them double carrying.
[0:12:02 – 0:12:05] Adam: I got the note on the double carry too.
[0:12:05 – 0:12:06] Adam: I think it’s a Coleman Pelican.
[0:12:07 – 0:12:07] Erik: Oh, yeah.
[0:12:07 – 0:12:09] Erik: I did try to keep track of the…
[0:12:10 – 0:12:19] Erik: I don’t know if it was on purpose or if it was just the chance of the way that they filmed it, but I did write down when they finally show the kind of canoe, but for the longest time, they never showed the brand.
[0:12:20 – 0:12:23] Adam: And I couldn’t tell… You can see Pelican on it.
[0:12:23 – 0:12:31] Erik: Yes, Pelican is what it was, but I never got a confirmation of Coglins or Coleman or anybody, but… Did you Google it?
[0:12:31 – 0:12:32] Erik: I didn’t do that much research.
[0:12:33 – 0:12:35] Erik: So then they’re just on this canoe trip then.
[0:12:35 – 0:12:42] Erik: And the one scene, like the one shot that kind of has some, I don’t know.
[0:12:44 – 0:12:48] Erik: It’s interesting, sort of, was that where they were swimming.
[0:12:49 – 0:12:52] Erik: And you could tell that they knew it was like halfway decent because it was like.
[0:12:53 – 0:12:54] Erik: It’s just by Pelican International.
[0:12:54 – 0:12:55] Erik: Pelican International Canoe.
[0:12:56 – 0:12:56] Adam: Yeah.
[0:12:56 – 0:12:57] Adam: It’s a Pelican 15.5.
[0:12:57 – 0:12:58] Adam: It’s like 369.95.
[0:13:02 – 0:13:05] Adam: No, it’s 369 pounds empty.
[0:13:06 – 0:13:07] Erik: Yeah, so they had this one shot…
[0:13:07 – 0:13:08] Adam: It’s got a tumble home of three inches.
[0:13:08 – 0:13:10] Erik: …of like an angular island rock.
[0:13:10 – 0:13:11] Erik: $450.
[0:13:11 – 0:13:15] Erik: Well, I knew it was going to be a price that was like $499.
[0:13:15 – 0:13:17] Adam: So they bought the cheapest possible canoe for the movie.
[0:13:17 – 0:13:17] Adam: Yeah.
[0:13:18 – 0:13:20] Adam: I was probably just from Crooked Lake Lodge.
[0:13:20 – 0:13:21] Erik: Yeah, they borrowed that.
[0:13:21 – 0:13:22] Erik: Yeah.
[0:13:22 – 0:13:26] Erik: So they’re just chilling out at this rock, kind of swimming.
[0:13:27 – 0:13:27] Erik: Yeah.
[0:13:27 – 0:13:28] Erik: They haven’t set up a camp.
[0:13:28 – 0:13:29] Adam: Yeah, they’re…
[0:13:31 – 0:13:34] Adam: They never discuss the route or what the plan is on this trip.
[0:13:34 – 0:13:35] Adam: They’re just paddling out on a lake.
[0:13:35 – 0:13:38] Adam: And then they do portage at one point, so they’ve gone to a second lake.
[0:13:39 – 0:13:42] Adam: So they’re at least one lake in and one day in.
[0:13:42 – 0:13:47] Erik: They’re one day in, and then one of the oddest camp meals I’ve ever seen, they just cook burgers.
[0:13:47 – 0:13:47] UNKNOWN: Yeah.
[0:13:48 – 0:14:16] Erik: what if you’re gonna have burgers to have them for lunch day one yeah like loose it wasn’t like pre-made patties they were like clearly like slapped together by we should do burgers on our next trip and then like they all bond over smoking cigarettes it was so weird and gross bunch of tweens and jonah the guide like making fun of how one of the girls is holding it it’s so i don’t know and they i love when they clap hands after jonah hangs the food pack
[0:14:17 – 0:14:17] Adam: Yeah.
[0:14:17 – 0:14:20] Adam: Yay, he hung the food.
[0:14:22 – 0:14:23] Adam: That was foreshadowing, I think.
[0:14:24 – 0:14:24] Adam: Was it?
[0:14:24 – 0:14:25] Adam: Yeah, for sure.
[0:14:25 – 0:14:28] Erik: And then they cut to the… You’re right.
[0:14:28 – 0:14:35] Erik: They do that first weird day burger night and food pack, and then they end up at that rock where like…
[0:14:35 – 0:14:41] Erik: Clearly, this girl is scared of the water and they’re all jumping in and yelling at her like, come on, jump in.
[0:14:41 – 0:14:42] Adam: It’s really high up, too.
[0:14:42 – 0:14:44] Adam: I, for the one, would never jump off that rock.
[0:14:44 – 0:14:45] Adam: It was high up.
[0:14:45 – 0:14:48] Adam: I’m not scared of water, but I am scared of gravity.
[0:14:48 – 0:14:49] Erik: It didn’t look like it was straight down.
[0:14:50 – 0:14:50] Erik: It looked like it was.
[0:14:50 – 0:14:53] Adam: You had to make a run out.
[0:14:53 – 0:14:54] Erik: Yeah, exactly.
[0:14:54 – 0:14:55] Adam: Got to clear those rocks.
[0:14:55 – 0:14:55] Erik: Yikes.
[0:14:56 – 0:14:56] Erik: Yeah.
[0:14:56 – 0:15:03] Erik: And then so he Jonah like kind of clambers up there and was like kind of consoling or sort of.
[0:15:03 – 0:15:03] Erik: Yeah.
[0:15:03 – 0:15:06] Adam: And they don’t seem like you don’t have to jump in if you don’t want to, sis.
[0:15:07 – 0:15:09] Erik: Yeah, and they don’t seem like they’re really related at all.
[0:15:09 – 0:15:13] Erik: They don’t have any kind of a rapport with each other or relationship.
[0:15:14 – 0:15:20] Adam: Yeah, their age difference is too much because Steph seems to be the youngest one of the bunch of the Juniper girls.
[0:15:20 – 0:15:21] Erik: Very much so, yes.
[0:15:21 – 0:15:26] Adam: And then the guy definitely isn’t just like a 17-year-old brother.
[0:15:27 – 0:15:29] Adam: He seems like he’s in his 20s for sure.
[0:15:29 – 0:15:31] Erik: Yeah, why he’s a guide at this camp.
[0:15:31 – 0:15:31] Adam: Yeah.
[0:15:32 – 0:15:36] Adam: And it’s a conflict of interest to go guiding your sister’s group anyways.
[0:15:36 – 0:15:40] Adam: I can’t believe Cricket Lake Lodge would allow such shenanigans.
[0:15:40 – 0:15:44] Erik: The scene where they’re jumping in on the rocks…
[0:15:45 – 0:15:52] Erik: The time that passes in that scene… And what they’re actually… What are they supposed to be doing?
[0:15:52 – 0:15:53] Erik: It was so…
[0:15:54 – 0:15:56] Erik: I don’t know if they were trying to go for it…
[0:15:56 – 0:15:58] Erik: But the mood of that scene is super weird.
[0:15:58 – 0:16:01] Erik: They eat sandwiches at one point… And he gets high…
[0:16:02 – 0:16:02] Erik: I think.
[0:16:03 – 0:16:05] Erik: And then, like, they all, like, take naps.
[0:16:05 – 0:16:07] Erik: Yeah, they’re napping.
[0:16:07 – 0:16:07] Erik: Midday naps.
[0:16:08 – 0:16:13] Erik: He and the one girl, Morgan, like, kind of end up sitting together.
[0:16:13 – 0:16:14] Erik: Yeah.
[0:16:14 – 0:16:19] Erik: And, like, it’s maybe implied that there’s, like, a bit of something between them.
[0:16:20 – 0:16:22] Erik: And then the other girls are, like, maybe sensing it.
[0:16:22 – 0:16:23] Erik: Yeah.
[0:16:23 – 0:16:27] Adam: That there’s, like, this awkward… And they’re like, where’s Morgan and Jonah?
[0:16:27 – 0:16:30] Adam: And they’re like, oh, they’re snuggling down by the lake.
[0:16:30 – 0:16:30] Adam: Yeah.
[0:16:30 – 0:16:30] Adam: Yeah.
[0:16:31 – 0:16:37] Adam: After, yeah, he literally burns down like a chumbawumba joint by himself.
[0:16:37 – 0:16:37] Erik: Yeah.
[0:16:38 – 0:16:39] Adam: After, you know, because I was like, what?
[0:16:39 – 0:16:40] Adam: He’s just smoking a cig.
[0:16:41 – 0:16:43] Adam: And I’m like, no, that’s a fatty.
[0:16:44 – 0:16:45] Adam: Big fatty.
[0:16:45 – 0:16:47] Adam: Jonah’s just up while the girls are napping.
[0:16:47 – 0:16:51] Adam: He just goes and lays down in the brambles and smokes an entire joint.
[0:16:51 – 0:16:55] Adam: He’s not doing anything except for frying the burgers and maybe carrying the one canoe properly.
[0:16:55 – 0:16:56] Erik: Yeah, and he hung the food pack.
[0:16:56 – 0:16:57] Adam: He did hang that food pack.
[0:16:58 – 0:16:58] Adam: Real pro.
[0:16:59 – 0:17:03] Adam: But yeah, he gets, I just have it in, this is the largest font in my whole notes.
[0:17:03 – 0:17:05] Adam: It just says, too high.
[0:17:06 – 0:17:07] Erik: Is he lost?
[0:17:08 – 0:17:09] Erik: Is he lost?
[0:17:09 – 0:17:09] Erik: Yeah.
[0:17:09 – 0:17:10] Adam: It’s like, wait, what happened?
[0:17:10 – 0:17:13] Adam: He like woke up in like a dream state.
[0:17:13 – 0:17:14] Adam: Maybe he went to another dimension.
[0:17:14 – 0:17:15] Adam: He smoked so much pot.
[0:17:16 – 0:17:17] Erik: It did feel like a different state.
[0:17:17 – 0:17:18] Adam: Because that can happen.
[0:17:18 – 0:17:21] Erik: The lighting got weird and it got late in the day.
[0:17:21 – 0:17:25] Erik: And then all of a sudden they got back in canoes and then paddled somewhere.
[0:17:25 – 0:17:25] Adam: Still paddling.
[0:17:26 – 0:17:28] Erik: And then all of a sudden they just cut to a campfire scene.
[0:17:28 – 0:17:31] Erik: And then it got really weird.
[0:17:32 – 0:17:35] Erik: Between Jonah and Morgan sitting next to the fire.
[0:17:36 – 0:17:38] Erik: He just looks over at one point and he just goes…
[0:17:39 – 0:17:40] Erik: She goes, nothing.
[0:17:41 – 0:17:41] Erik: It’s like, what?
[0:17:42 – 0:17:42] Erik: It’s so hot.
[0:17:42 – 0:17:43] Erik: How is that dialogue?
[0:17:43 – 0:17:45] Adam: It’s sensual and intense.
[0:17:46 – 0:17:46] Erik: Yeah.
[0:17:47 – 0:17:51] Erik: And then, like, the three girls are, like, sleeping again, kind of.
[0:17:51 – 0:17:51] Adam: Yeah.
[0:17:52 – 0:17:53] Adam: Right next to the fire.
[0:17:53 – 0:17:53] Adam: Yeah.
[0:17:53 – 0:17:56] Adam: You know, they do have tents, but they all sleep outside all the time.
[0:17:56 – 0:17:58] Erik: Yeah, they’re always just kind of in a state of napping.
[0:17:58 – 0:18:00] Adam: They’re just sleeping in the dirt.
[0:18:01 – 0:18:01] Erik: Yeah.
[0:18:01 – 0:18:03] Erik: And then, like, maybe…
[0:18:04 – 0:18:07] Erik: He or she goes in for a kiss.
[0:18:07 – 0:18:09] Adam: Oh, they’re definitely going in for a kiss.
[0:18:09 – 0:18:10] Adam: But of course, sis wakes up.
[0:18:11 – 0:18:11] Adam: Yeah.
[0:18:11 – 0:18:14] Adam: Right as they’re about to get their kisses.
[0:18:15 – 0:18:15] Adam: Yeah.
[0:18:15 – 0:18:18] Erik: And she goes, what’s going on?
[0:18:18 – 0:18:19] Adam: Of course.
[0:18:19 – 0:18:23] Erik: And then she goes, Morgan gets pissed.
[0:18:23 – 0:18:23] Erik: Yeah.
[0:18:23 – 0:18:28] Erik: And yells at everybody, implying that she wasn’t trying to do anything.
[0:18:28 – 0:18:28] Adam: Yeah.
[0:18:28 – 0:18:32] Adam: And then just sprints off into the pitch black darkness of the woods.
[0:18:32 – 0:18:32] Erik: Yes.
[0:18:33 – 0:18:41] Erik: And Jonah feels it’s necessary to chase her with a flashlight into just the dark abyss of the woods.
[0:18:41 – 0:18:46] Erik: And the music got almost borderline jokingly intense.
[0:18:46 – 0:18:48] Erik: The music throughout the movie sucked.
[0:18:49 – 0:18:51] Erik: The score was so bad.
[0:18:51 – 0:18:53] Adam: And guess who did the original score?
[0:18:54 – 0:18:54] Adam: One of the directors?
[0:18:54 – 0:18:55] Adam: Sasha Drews.
[0:18:57 – 0:19:00] Adam: Filmed by Sasha Drews.
[0:19:00 – 0:19:02] Adam: Original music by Sasha Drews.
[0:19:04 – 0:19:11] Adam: Director of photography, Sasha Drews, and written and directed by Sasha Drews.
[0:19:12 – 0:19:18] Adam: And like I said, I’m pretty sure what’s-her-face is Sasha Drews’ sister, Alicia.
[0:19:18 – 0:19:23] Adam: Yeah, and you can tell it’s just like, guys, don’t fight!
[0:19:24 – 0:19:25] Erik: What is she doing?
[0:19:26 – 0:19:27] Erik: I have no idea.
[0:19:27 – 0:19:29] Erik: She was the most oddball character, Morgan.
[0:19:30 – 0:19:38] Erik: I don’t know what she was thinking and what I guess maybe it was just like a crazy teen move to just like sprint into the woods.
[0:19:38 – 0:19:39] Erik: I’m embarrassed.
[0:19:40 – 0:19:51] Erik: And like so the main like thing that happens in the movie happens here where Jonah trips and like impales himself in a really like weird way in the chest slash throat.
[0:19:52 – 0:19:58] Adam: And then we have to literally watch him like… Yeah, I couldn’t decide if it was a major head wound or if he was like punctured.
[0:19:58 – 0:20:05] Adam: But I’m guessing based on the death wheezes that he had some sort of like impalement situation through the thorax or lung.
[0:20:06 – 0:20:06] Erik: Yeah.
[0:20:06 – 0:20:12] Erik: And then so following suit with the just general like sprinting into the darkness…
[0:20:13 – 0:20:19] Erik: They drag him wheezing and bleeding into a canoe and just start paddling into the darkness.
[0:20:20 – 0:20:24] Erik: He’s guiding four underage girls.
[0:20:24 – 0:20:27] Erik: He doesn’t have a radio or a personal location beacon.
[0:20:27 – 0:20:29] Adam: He hasn’t gone over the map with them at all, apparently.
[0:20:30 – 0:20:31] Adam: They don’t know where they are.
[0:20:32 – 0:20:36] Adam: At this point, apparently only one lake removed from Crooked Lake.
[0:20:36 – 0:20:38] Adam: They didn’t go that far.
[0:20:38 – 0:20:41] Adam: All they had to do was sit tight, but it wouldn’t have mattered, I don’t think.
[0:20:41 – 0:20:41] Erik: Yeah.
[0:20:42 – 0:20:44] Erik: And then like, so they’re just paddling into the pitch blackness.
[0:20:45 – 0:20:53] Adam: I think they take the corpse, I’m sorry, the body, the brother, and then they get in the canoe and they’re like, two of them get in and they’re like, we’re going to catch up.
[0:20:53 – 0:20:53] Erik: Yeah.
[0:20:54 – 0:20:58] Adam: And then they’re like, all right, they’re trying to take the tent down now that they weren’t even sleeping in.
[0:20:58 – 0:20:58] Erik: Right.
[0:20:59 – 0:21:00] Adam: They do end up catching up.
[0:21:00 – 0:21:01] Erik: Yeah, no, they do.
[0:21:01 – 0:21:04] Erik: And then I just wrote here, then he just dies.
[0:21:04 – 0:21:09] Adam: Yeah, I go, death wheezes, night pedal, RIP Jonah.
[0:21:09 – 0:21:10] Adam: That’s my note sequence.
[0:21:10 – 0:21:17] Erik: And then it just cuts to the next day and they’re just sitting, they’re just floating in the middle of a lake with a dead body in a canoe.
[0:21:17 – 0:21:43] Erik: yeah and then the other two girls catch up with the other canoe yeah and then and then they go to shore and vomit and hug yeah one girl vomits and then uh i wrote somebody got uh somebody just yells shut up you slut this is right this is right when you can see the cabin yeah yeah and then they pan the pan over a smallish pond yeah they’re on a pond with a cabin
[0:21:44 – 0:21:44] Erik: Yeah.
[0:21:45 – 0:21:50] Erik: And then they conclude that they’re lost and that they think they got turned around in the night.
[0:21:50 – 0:21:51] Adam: Oh, you think so?
[0:21:52 – 0:21:53] Adam: I was like, is this scary or no?
[0:21:54 – 0:21:55] Adam: Why don’t they know where they are?
[0:21:56 – 0:21:57] Adam: That’s the scary part?
[0:21:57 – 0:21:59] Adam: They’re somehow lost after a day?
[0:21:59 – 0:22:07] Erik: Somehow lost after a day, and the decisions they make at this point are beyond even comprehension for you to…
[0:22:08 – 0:22:26] Erik: The suspension of disbelief goes out the window, obviously almost immediately just based on the acting and everything else, but when they start building a stretcher and just start walking him through the woods up to the top of a hill for no reason, they are convinced they have to get over to another lake.
[0:22:26 – 0:22:26] Erik: Yeah.
[0:22:27 – 0:22:28] Erik: Like, I didn’t get that at all.
[0:22:28 – 0:22:29] Adam: Go back to the portage.
[0:22:30 – 0:22:31] Adam: Yeah, go back.
[0:22:31 – 0:22:35] Adam: You remember that less than a day ago when you portaged into this lake on a trail?
[0:22:35 – 0:22:36] Erik: Yeah.
[0:22:36 – 0:22:37] Adam: Find that.
[0:22:37 – 0:22:42] Erik: And one of the things that the directors were talking about, I cannot believe I watched the making of it.
[0:22:42 – 0:22:42] Adam: Wow.
[0:22:43 – 0:22:47] Erik: They were like, yeah, we just made them make this stretcher and just filmed them struggling with it.
[0:22:47 – 0:22:53] Erik: So those are all real reactions to them carrying a body’s weight worth of through the woods and stuff.
[0:22:53 – 0:22:54] Erik: And it was like, okay, well…
[0:22:55 – 0:22:56] Erik: How else were you going to film it?
[0:22:57 – 0:22:58] Erik: I don’t know what you’re saying.
[0:22:58 – 0:23:00] Erik: Yeah, it probably was super annoying.
[0:23:01 – 0:23:02] Adam: I just have a huge note here now.
[0:23:02 – 0:23:03] Erik: Read the map.
[0:23:04 – 0:23:04] Adam: Yeah.
[0:23:04 – 0:23:05] Adam: They had the map still.
[0:23:06 – 0:23:07] Adam: They always had the map.
[0:23:07 – 0:23:12] Adam: They never lost their map or something that would make it more plausible that they were totally lost.
[0:23:13 – 0:23:14] Adam: They have a map.
[0:23:14 – 0:23:15] Adam: They’re literally one lake away.
[0:23:16 – 0:23:17] Adam: Just read the map and find that portage.
[0:23:18 – 0:23:20] Adam: They got so disoriented night paddling though, Eric.
[0:23:21 – 0:23:24] Erik: Yeah, the night paddle is clearly what threw them off.
[0:23:24 – 0:23:25] Erik: And I don’t understand.
[0:23:25 – 0:23:28] Erik: Such a horrible and, like, I can’t.
[0:23:28 – 0:23:30] Erik: It’s the stretcher, and why are they in the woods?
[0:23:30 – 0:23:31] Erik: Yeah.
[0:23:31 – 0:23:32] Erik: You have a canoe.
[0:23:32 – 0:23:34] Erik: Clearly, you should just be paddling.
[0:23:34 – 0:23:35] Adam: Dan Stevens, this thing.
[0:23:35 – 0:23:35] Erik: Yeah.
[0:23:35 – 0:23:36] Adam: Should have stuck to the water.
[0:23:37 – 0:23:45] Adam: I have one note in here, something I actually liked about the movie before I flipped to page two of my notes.
[0:23:45 – 0:23:46] Erik: I don’t have nearly as many notes.
[0:23:47 – 0:23:51] Adam: I don’t know what they are because I’m not a birder, but this bird songs throughout the movie were excellent.
[0:23:52 – 0:23:56] Erik: It’s probably just that they accidentally filmed and recorded birds in the woods.
[0:23:56 – 0:24:00] Adam: Some of our campsite video reviews also feature nice bird songs.
[0:24:00 – 0:24:01] Adam: Not on purpose.
[0:24:01 – 0:24:03] Adam: I don’t know if they get credit for it, but it was nice.
[0:24:04 – 0:24:26] Erik: all right i also will say not necessarily that they’re on the shield not that i necessarily liked it but it was somewhat memorable and i i remember when i was watching it i was like okay this is actually like a scene i feel sort of creeped out when steph like was just they woke up and she’s just standing in the lake sleepwalker steph or that was actually kind of creepy i’ve never heard of sleep swimming
[0:24:26 – 0:24:31] Erik: I was like, if something happens here and they follow this, I’m on board.
[0:24:31 – 0:24:32] Erik: If she starts getting weird.
[0:24:32 – 0:24:33] Erik: But it was the only thing.
[0:24:33 – 0:24:35] Erik: She just started sleepwalking.
[0:24:35 – 0:24:39] Erik: And then she jumps in the lake.
[0:24:39 – 0:24:41] Erik: And then comes to and just starts yelling.
[0:24:41 – 0:24:42] Adam: Why am I wet?
[0:24:42 – 0:24:42] Adam: Why am I wet?
[0:24:42 – 0:24:43] Adam: What am I doing?
[0:24:43 – 0:24:44] Erik: Why am I wet?
[0:24:44 – 0:24:48] Adam: And then this is when Alicia’s like, it’s okay, Steph.
[0:24:48 – 0:24:50] Adam: You’re sleepwalking.
[0:24:50 – 0:24:52] Adam: And that’s when I have the note on her.
[0:24:52 – 0:24:54] Adam: She must be related to one of the directors.
[0:24:54 – 0:24:55] Erik: Yeah.
[0:24:55 – 0:24:57] Adam: By far the worst of the Juniper gang.
[0:24:57 – 0:25:00] Erik: After one day, they tell Steph, you have to let him go.
[0:25:01 – 0:25:01] Erik: Get over it.
[0:25:02 – 0:25:04] Adam: Alicia wanted to dump the corpse immediately, though.
[0:25:04 – 0:25:05] Adam: So credit to her.
[0:25:05 – 0:25:07] Adam: She was the only one that had the right idea there.
[0:25:07 – 0:25:07] Erik: Yep.
[0:25:07 – 0:25:10] Erik: Well, and then they suggest that they have to bury him.
[0:25:10 – 0:25:15] Adam: Yeah, Alicia and Candace really wanted to get rid of the body right away and just, we’ll come back for him, you know?
[0:25:16 – 0:25:17] Adam: And it’s like, yeah, that makes sense.
[0:25:17 – 0:25:22] Adam: You shouldn’t be dragging a corpse through the woods for some reason when you have canoes.
[0:25:22 – 0:25:22] Adam: Right.
[0:25:23 – 0:25:25] Erik: And then they finally do get back in the canoes with him.
[0:25:25 – 0:25:32] Erik: And then one of the most, again, like the exact opposite of how incredible the down the rapid scenes from Whitewater Summer.
[0:25:32 – 0:25:35] Adam: Yeah, this is the weakest Whitewater Summer ever.
[0:25:35 – 0:25:37] Erik: The weirdest cut to a canoe sinking.
[0:25:38 – 0:25:43] Erik: You could tell they didn’t want to have to get it out too bad, so they just cut to the nose of it.
[0:25:43 – 0:25:45] Adam: Show the little corner of the canoe sinking down.
[0:25:45 – 0:25:46] Adam: Kind of like everything in this movie.
[0:25:46 – 0:25:49] Adam: They didn’t want to splurge and actually show anything.
[0:25:50 – 0:25:56] Adam: The death scene occurs in the dark, so you really can’t tell what even happened to him other than his wheezes.
[0:25:56 – 0:25:58] Adam: Then I just had this one marked down as…
[0:25:58 – 0:25:59] Adam: Corpse Rapids.
[0:26:00 – 0:26:01] Adam: What is this music?
[0:26:01 – 0:26:04] Adam: The Rapids theme was the worst of all the music.
[0:26:04 – 0:26:04] Adam: It was.
[0:26:05 – 0:26:08] Adam: It sounded like something out of like Ice Road Truckers episodes.
[0:26:08 – 0:26:08] Adam: Yeah.
[0:26:08 – 0:26:12] Adam: It seemed like…
[0:26:12 – 0:26:14] Adam: It was like a mix of jazz and heavy metal.
[0:26:14 – 0:26:15] Erik: Yeah, it was like… What the hell?
[0:26:15 – 0:26:17] Erik: I wrote guitars and piano.
[0:26:17 – 0:26:18] Adam: Barely intense.
[0:26:19 – 0:26:19] Adam: Too intense.
[0:26:19 – 0:26:20] Erik: Yeah.
[0:26:20 – 0:26:20] Erik: Jesus.
[0:26:21 – 0:26:26] Erik: Well, too intense, but like, yeah, it was like royalty-free, like, chase music.
[0:26:26 – 0:26:27] Erik: It wasn’t, though.
[0:26:28 – 0:26:48] Erik: oh i know sasha drew’s original scored that thing oh yeah yeah and i love the big they for whatever reason they yell when they’re going down the falls and like something goes wrong like cut the rope yeah why is cutting the rope gonna help and then what’s her face candace has to go out and like rescue the body that’s like snagged up on rocks yeah nobody else helps i got him
[0:26:51 – 0:26:57] Erik: And then she’s trying to get him back to shore.
[0:26:58 – 0:26:59] Erik: And Steph’s like, give me something.
[0:27:00 – 0:27:01] Erik: I’m like, what?
[0:27:01 – 0:27:02] Erik: Give me something.
[0:27:02 – 0:27:03] Erik: Get what?
[0:27:03 – 0:27:05] Erik: And then I was like, I just wrote, Steph’s a little bitch.
[0:27:05 – 0:27:06] Adam: Yeah.
[0:27:06 – 0:27:07] Adam: Your brother’s dead.
[0:27:07 – 0:27:09] Adam: Well, she’s not making rational decisions at this point.
[0:27:10 – 0:27:10] Adam: What are they at?
[0:27:10 – 0:27:11] Adam: Day five now?
[0:27:11 – 0:27:14] Adam: It’s really unclear as to what day they’re on.
[0:27:14 – 0:27:15] Adam: Yeah.
[0:27:15 – 0:27:16] Adam: I was like, is it morning?
[0:27:16 – 0:27:19] Adam: They found themselves going down a Corpse Rapids.
[0:27:19 – 0:27:20] Adam: And they have a map.
[0:27:21 – 0:27:23] Adam: And they still can’t figure out where they’re at.
[0:27:23 – 0:27:25] Erik: We’re all turned around from the night pedal.
[0:27:25 – 0:27:27] Adam: It’s like you just went down a class three rapids.
[0:27:28 – 0:27:28] Adam: It should be on a map somewhere.
[0:27:28 – 0:27:30] Adam: That should probably be marked on your map.
[0:27:30 – 0:27:35] Erik: Especially considering the only other thing I’ve seen is like two ponds and like a big rocky island.
[0:27:36 – 0:27:36] Erik: Yikes.
[0:27:36 – 0:27:46] Erik: And then I love the actual like realistic nature of like how the body starts stinking and then you can hear like flies and stuff.
[0:27:47 – 0:27:48] Adam: Yeah, they actually had face masks on.
[0:27:48 – 0:27:49] Adam: They were ahead of their time.
[0:27:49 – 0:27:51] Erik: Yeah, yeah.
[0:27:52 – 0:27:54] Adam: They were actually wearing them correctly, too, for the record.
[0:27:54 – 0:27:55] Adam: They’re teenage girls.
[0:27:55 – 0:27:56] Adam: It’s not that hard.
[0:27:57 – 0:27:58] Adam: To wear a face mask.
[0:27:58 – 0:28:05] Adam: You’re going to get that involved in the… Well, I just thought it was interesting that they had face masks and this movie was made 10 years ago.
[0:28:06 – 0:28:08] Erik: And then they end up at those railroad tracks somehow.
[0:28:08 – 0:28:16] Adam: Before they get to the railroad tracks, they noted, too, right after the face mask section, that they had left their food and hadn’t eaten in five days.
[0:28:16 – 0:28:18] Adam: I think that’s where I was like, what?
[0:28:18 – 0:28:19] Erik: Oh, they commented on that?
[0:28:19 – 0:28:22] Adam: They said something about, we left our food and…
[0:28:23 – 0:28:24] Adam: I don’t know why.
[0:28:24 – 0:28:29] Adam: They definitely said it out loud that they left their food back with their other stuff.
[0:28:30 – 0:28:32] Adam: So they abandoned their food, too.
[0:28:32 – 0:28:34] Adam: Another baffling decision.
[0:28:34 – 0:28:34] Erik: Yeah.
[0:28:34 – 0:28:37] Adam: So they haven’t eaten this entire time, apparently.
[0:28:39 – 0:28:45] Erik: Yeah, yeah, and then… Yeah, so the railroad track scene… Yeah, then they… After hitting some rapids, then they find railroad tracks!
[0:28:45 – 0:28:47] Adam: Which, again… Also, should be on the map.
[0:28:47 – 0:28:50] Erik: Yeah, rapids and railroad tracks.
[0:28:50 – 0:28:53] Adam: They have two huge clues as to where they are, and they’re still unable to figure this out.
[0:28:53 – 0:28:54] Erik: No, and then…
[0:28:54 – 0:28:56] Adam: I’m surprised they’re able to, you know…
[0:28:57 – 0:28:59] Erik: Alicia just starts walking down the tracks.
[0:28:59 – 0:28:59] Adam: They can’t.
[0:29:00 – 0:29:03] Adam: Yeah, Alicia’s just like, I’m heading this way.
[0:29:03 – 0:29:03] Erik: Just let her go.
[0:29:04 – 0:29:07] Adam: Nobody wants to see her act again.
[0:29:08 – 0:29:11] Adam: Just take your career and just keep walking all the way over to Atikokan.
[0:29:12 – 0:29:14] Erik: But then she turns around.
[0:29:16 – 0:29:19] Erik: And she comes joins the group again.
[0:29:19 – 0:29:20] Erik: So pointless scene.
[0:29:21 – 0:29:29] Erik: And then they wake up to animal scratches on the side of the canoe that they’re using to protect the body.
[0:29:30 – 0:29:32] Adam: Yeah, they got the body under the canoe.
[0:29:33 – 0:29:38] Erik: And then they hang him in a tree?
[0:29:38 – 0:29:39] Adam: See, this is why I was foreshadowing.
[0:29:39 – 0:29:42] Adam: They try and hoist the corpse just like he hoisted the food pack.
[0:29:43 – 0:29:46] Adam: Except there was no applause this time because they failed miserably to hoist that corpse.
[0:29:46 – 0:29:49] Adam: Yeah, and they burn their hands up on the rope because it slips off.
[0:29:50 – 0:29:52] Adam: This is when Candace then shits her pants.
[0:29:52 – 0:29:58] Erik: There is the really bad, like, and long shitting scene where Stephanie watches from the distance.
[0:29:58 – 0:29:59] Erik: Of course Steph watches.
[0:29:59 – 0:30:04] Erik: Yeah, and then I love, like, five minutes later, then somebody goes, Candace, you’re sick!
[0:30:04 – 0:30:06] Erik: Just because she had, like, a loose poop.
[0:30:06 – 0:30:07] Erik: Like, what?
[0:30:07 – 0:30:08] Erik: She’s sick.
[0:30:08 – 0:30:09] Erik: Yeah, she is sick.
[0:30:09 – 0:30:11] Erik: She doesn’t really seem that sick.
[0:30:11 – 0:30:12] Erik: She just kind of has, like, a painful poop.
[0:30:13 – 0:30:13] Erik: Yeah.
[0:30:13 – 0:30:16] Erik: Which is way too graphic of a sound.
[0:30:17 – 0:30:21] Adam: That’s what happens when you don’t eat for five days and you’re hoisting a corpse around the woods.
[0:30:21 – 0:30:28] Erik: And then we get the classic jump scare scene, which was actually funny to me.
[0:30:28 – 0:30:32] Erik: When it showed that very clearly tame wolf.
[0:30:32 – 0:30:33] Erik: Do you have any biscuits?
[0:30:34 – 0:30:35] Erik: He wasn’t mad or anything.
[0:30:35 – 0:30:37] Erik: It was just like they turned a light on his face and he was just like…
[0:30:39 – 0:30:55] Erik: they might as well have Arrow in that scene wearing her red collar and her derp neck yeah so Stephanie gets up in the middle of the night and then like hears noises and then she turns her flashlight on and it’s supposed to be like a scary moment where you see this wolf but it’s just like a friendly little dog
[0:30:55 – 0:30:57] Erik: And then she scares it away.
[0:30:57 – 0:30:57] Erik: Yeah.
[0:30:58 – 0:30:59] Adam: She’s very brave, Steph.
[0:30:59 – 0:31:00] Adam: Yeah.
[0:31:00 – 0:31:01] Adam: We got to bury him.
[0:31:01 – 0:31:01] Adam: Yeah.
[0:31:01 – 0:31:02] Adam: Well, I don’t know.
[0:31:02 – 0:31:08] Adam: And at this point, the two that want to abandon the body are really like, we got to just bury him and leave him.
[0:31:08 – 0:31:09] Adam: Yeah.
[0:31:09 – 0:31:10] Adam: We’re wolf bait here.
[0:31:10 – 0:31:11] Erik: Yeah.
[0:31:11 – 0:31:13] Erik: And then I wrote, they sure do spend a lot of time on land.
[0:31:14 – 0:31:16] Erik: And then I did write, Candace, you’re sick.
[0:31:16 – 0:31:18] Erik: Because she pooped bad once.
[0:31:18 – 0:31:19] Erik: Yeah.
[0:31:20 – 0:31:23] Adam: They haven’t eaten in five days, but now all of a sudden they got the runs.
[0:31:23 – 0:31:23] Erik: Yeah.
[0:31:23 – 0:31:25] Erik: Was it from like, is it because of the dead body?
[0:31:25 – 0:31:30] Adam: Yeah, I think the smell is making them poop, which isn’t a good sign.
[0:31:31 – 0:31:34] Adam: So anyways, it’s about this time when they finally do this.
[0:31:35 – 0:31:36] Adam: She’s not going to leave them.
[0:31:36 – 0:31:37] Adam: They’re like, we’re going to go get help.
[0:31:37 – 0:31:38] Adam: You stay with him.
[0:31:39 – 0:31:40] Erik: And they abandon Steph in the body.
[0:31:40 – 0:31:41] Adam: In a rainstorm.
[0:31:41 – 0:31:42] Erik: And they have no gear in the canoe.
[0:31:43 – 0:31:43] Erik: It’s empty.
[0:31:43 – 0:31:44] Erik: They’ve left all their stuff.
[0:31:44 – 0:31:45] Adam: They’re like crying.
[0:31:45 – 0:31:47] Adam: All they have, they’re lucky they still have paddles.
[0:31:47 – 0:31:52] Erik: Steph’s the one that’s set up here because she’s at camp with all the supplies.
[0:31:52 – 0:31:58] Adam: They apparently left the food pack still up in that first tree from night one, so nobody’s had anything to eat.
[0:32:00 – 0:32:02] Adam: They don’t even show them trying to forage.
[0:32:02 – 0:32:04] Adam: They just don’t address it other than that one line.
[0:32:04 – 0:32:05] Adam: They’re like, we haven’t eaten in five days.
[0:32:07 – 0:32:10] Adam: They’re just going to make it fine with no food, I guess, or don’t even try.
[0:32:12 – 0:32:17] Erik: And then, of course, like within seconds, Steph like comes to her senses and goes down to the shoreline and starts freaking out.
[0:32:17 – 0:32:18] Erik: And they’re just like not.
[0:32:18 – 0:32:19] Erik: They’re gone.
[0:32:19 – 0:32:20] Erik: They’re just around the corner.
[0:32:20 – 0:32:20] Erik: Yeah.
[0:32:21 – 0:32:21] Adam: They’re gone.
[0:32:21 – 0:32:22] Adam: In a rainstorm.
[0:32:22 – 0:32:24] Adam: In a torrential downpour.
[0:32:24 – 0:32:24] Adam: They’ve paddled away.
[0:32:25 – 0:32:28] Adam: So then the next morning, that’s when she starts making her own map.
[0:32:29 – 0:32:29] Adam: Yes.
[0:32:29 – 0:32:30] Adam: With the rocks.
[0:32:30 – 0:32:37] Erik: Yeah, well, this is when I started fast-forwarding it and watching the movie at double speed because it’s literally 20 minutes of Steph dragging a body through the woods.
[0:32:38 – 0:32:42] Erik: And the only exciting thing that happens is at one point she slaughters a rat with a hatchet.
[0:32:42 – 0:32:43] Adam: The rat murder, yeah.
[0:32:43 – 0:32:44] Adam: Why are there rats?
[0:32:45 – 0:32:46] Adam: I’ve never seen a rat in camp.
[0:32:46 – 0:32:47] Adam: Have you?
[0:32:47 – 0:32:47] Adam: No.
[0:32:47 – 0:32:50] Adam: That was a weird choice of a thing to get murdered.
[0:32:50 – 0:32:52] Adam: Why wasn’t it an annoying little red squirrel?
[0:32:53 – 0:32:54] Adam: That would have been more on point.
[0:32:54 – 0:32:55] Erik: It would have been.
[0:32:55 – 0:32:56] Erik: It was in Ontario.
[0:32:56 – 0:32:58] Adam: It’s the Boreal Forest.
[0:32:58 – 0:32:59] Adam: I’ve never been out camping.
[0:33:00 – 0:33:01] Adam: Well, let’s make a movie about camping.
[0:33:01 – 0:33:04] Adam: That’d be like if you and I made a movie about ballet.
[0:33:04 – 0:33:04] Erik: Yeah.
[0:33:05 – 0:33:06] Adam: Oh, just do it.
[0:33:06 – 0:33:07] Adam: Yeah.
[0:33:07 – 0:33:10] Adam: Let’s do a fantasy soccer podcast, Eric.
[0:33:10 – 0:33:16] Adam: I don’t know anything about it, but that’s how you get rats getting murdered in the Ontario wilderness.
[0:33:16 – 0:33:32] Erik: Well, for a little bit of insight in the making of documentary, the story is based on one of the directors who burned his foot on a canoe trip when he was at camp and he had to struggle to get out in portage.
[0:33:33 – 0:33:36] Erik: And he thought, boy, wouldn’t it be crazy if something even worse happened?
[0:33:36 – 0:33:41] Erik: And then he talked to his buddy director and they kept elevating it until they got to dead body.
[0:33:42 – 0:33:43] Erik: What if somebody died?
[0:33:43 – 0:33:44] Erik: Wow.
[0:33:44 – 0:33:45] Erik: And that’s where the story came from.
[0:33:45 – 0:33:46] Erik: Riveting.
[0:33:46 – 0:33:49] Erik: That’s why this movie sucks.
[0:33:49 – 0:33:55] Adam: I think it was the part during when she’s madly like scribbling on the rocks trying to figure out like she’s in a beautiful mind.
[0:33:56 – 0:33:56] Adam: Just like…
[0:33:57 – 0:33:58] Erik: the meme.
[0:33:59 – 0:34:02] Adam: Yes, and then the sun, she just makes a big circle.
[0:34:02 – 0:34:04] Adam: This must be where I am in between here and here.
[0:34:04 – 0:34:05] Adam: We read the map all wrong.
[0:34:06 – 0:34:07] Erik: I cracked the code.
[0:34:07 – 0:34:09] Erik: The inner monologue comes back in, too.
[0:34:10 – 0:34:13] Erik: That’s when you find out that a speedboat killed her dad.
[0:34:13 – 0:34:13] UNKNOWN: Yeah.
[0:34:14 – 0:34:15] Erik: The speedboat got dead.
[0:34:15 – 0:34:24] Erik: And then she gets the inspiration to like, this is the difference between like being found and not is swimming across a lake.
[0:34:24 – 0:34:31] Erik: Like this whole movie is them like traversing horrible landscapes for no reason because they have canoes and water.
[0:34:32 – 0:34:36] Erik: And then the movie ends with her getting up the courage to swim across a lake.
[0:34:37 – 0:34:38] Erik: Like that’s the big like…
[0:34:38 – 0:34:42] Adam: I guess maybe they were on land because they wrecked all their canoes in the Corpse Rapids.
[0:34:42 – 0:34:44] Erik: But they were on land way before that.
[0:34:44 – 0:34:45] Erik: They built that stretcher.
[0:34:45 – 0:34:54] Erik: They immediately, after he died, and the next day cut to them sitting just on the water, all tired.
[0:34:54 – 0:34:56] Erik: You just sat in the darkness until…
[0:34:56 – 0:35:00] Erik: I mean, I’m assuming you guys weren’t having a fire super late, so he runs into the woods.
[0:35:00 – 0:35:05] Erik: The timing of it seems crazy that it would cut to morning and you’re still just sitting in canoes.
[0:35:05 – 0:35:10] Erik: And the first thing they do is go to land, build a stretcher, and start walking him up a huge hill.
[0:35:10 – 0:35:10] Adam: Exactly.
[0:35:12 – 0:35:14] Erik: And then, unless you have anything else, I think…
[0:35:14 – 0:35:28] Adam: Right around the rat murder part, too, is when she… She must be sleepwalking, but this time we get the perspective from the inner mind of the sleepwalker, and she sees her brother, like, thrashing wildly inside the hallucination of the zombie brother.
[0:35:29 – 0:35:30] Erik: Don’t you get, like, a scene of that?
[0:35:30 – 0:35:32] Adam: At one point, I was like, is he really dead, though?
[0:35:32 – 0:35:33] Adam: Like, is he going to just wake up and…
[0:35:35 – 0:35:55] Erik: a big wheeze oh my god really dead yeah that could have been like i would say the corpse lives 50 things that would have been more interesting to finish this movie up because so i would say half the movie is them dealing with this dead body yeah and steph not wanting to abandon her brother
[0:35:56 – 0:36:07] Erik: And then they show basically half the movie of them dealing with that choice, and the way that the movie ends is her just deciding to bury it anyway.
[0:36:07 – 0:36:10] Adam: She hallucinates him coming back to life, and that’s when she finally, it clicks.
[0:36:10 – 0:36:12] Adam: Like, yeah, all right, I just got to bury him.
[0:36:12 – 0:36:17] Erik: Yeah, which is the stupidest waste of a time to have that decision finally be made.
[0:36:17 – 0:36:23] Erik: And the last, there’s inner monologue as it kind of zooms out about how they try to go back and look for the body.
[0:36:24 – 0:36:24] Erik: Yeah.
[0:36:24 – 0:36:29] Erik: And the last line of the movie is, apparently the grave I made was too shallow.
[0:36:30 – 0:36:30] Erik: Yeah.
[0:36:30 – 0:36:30] Erik: Like, what?
[0:36:31 – 0:36:32] Adam: And then it ends.
[0:36:32 – 0:36:32] Adam: Yeah.
[0:36:32 – 0:36:36] Adam: This is the worst ending to a movie I’ve ever had.
[0:36:36 – 0:36:36] Erik: Yes.
[0:36:36 – 0:36:39] Erik: I just underlined an exclamation point.
[0:36:39 – 0:36:39] Erik: Trash.
[0:36:39 – 0:36:39] Erik: Trash.
[0:36:40 – 0:36:53] Adam: Yeah, so she gets up the courage to finally swim across this lake for whatever, and then she gets across the lake, and then it was like, little did I know, the other girls did find the highway.
[0:36:53 – 0:36:54] Adam: Yeah.
[0:36:54 – 0:37:01] Adam: And we came back to look for them, but all we found was a chewed up red sleeping bag.
[0:37:01 – 0:37:02] Adam: Yeah.
[0:37:02 – 0:37:04] Adam: Yeah, I guess I didn’t dig it deep enough.
[0:37:06 – 0:37:07] Erik: Yeah, that’s it.
[0:37:07 – 0:37:08] Erik: The end.
[0:37:08 – 0:37:10] Adam: Never see them actually rescued.
[0:37:10 – 0:37:11] Erik: You never see the girls again.
[0:37:11 – 0:37:12] Erik: You never see the highway.
[0:37:13 – 0:37:13] Erik: Never see the highway.
[0:37:14 – 0:37:25] Erik: How do you have a movie where the whole point is to find rescue and the only description of that and any satisfaction is completely removed and it’s just given to you in a fucking monologue?
[0:37:25 – 0:37:25] Adam: There you go.
[0:37:25 – 0:37:26] Adam: We said we got rescued.
[0:37:26 – 0:37:27] Adam: The end.
[0:37:27 – 0:37:27] Erik: Yeah.
[0:37:27 – 0:37:33] Erik: Like, did you not have the money to film a fucking road or even like a passing helicopter or a plane?
[0:37:33 – 0:37:34] Erik: Anything.
[0:37:34 – 0:37:34] Erik: Nothing.
[0:37:34 – 0:37:37] Erik: Nothing to imply that people were actually found.
[0:37:37 – 0:37:42] Erik: The last time you see the three other girls is like at minute 50 when they paddle away in the canoe.
[0:37:42 – 0:37:44] Erik: And then the last half hour is just Steph.
[0:37:45 – 0:37:46] Erik: And her inner monologues.
[0:37:46 – 0:37:53] Adam: Yeah, just going mad, scribbling on the rocks, having hallucinations and sleepwalks, and then finally swims.
[0:37:53 – 0:37:54] Erik: Yeah.
[0:37:54 – 0:37:56] Adam: Even though her father got run over by a speedboat.
[0:37:56 – 0:37:58] Adam: I could hear my mother crying.
[0:37:58 – 0:38:00] Erik: Like, how do you…
[0:38:01 – 0:38:06] Erik: These guys are such horrible writers that you can’t come up with something any more…
[0:38:07 – 0:38:08] Erik: It’s not even like…
[0:38:08 – 0:38:10] Erik: You can make up whatever you want.
[0:38:10 – 0:38:11] Adam: A speedboat?
[0:38:11 – 0:38:12] Adam: Yeah, let’s give them their due.
[0:38:12 – 0:38:17] Adam: Written and directed by Sasha Drews, Matthew Miller, and Ezra Kribis.
[0:38:18 – 0:38:19] Adam: That sounds like a fake name.
[0:38:19 – 0:38:20] Adam: Why a speedboat?
[0:38:20 – 0:38:20] Erik: It’s so dumb.
[0:38:20 – 0:38:21] Erik: A speedboat?
[0:38:21 – 0:38:23] Erik: It could have been like, I mean, it’s a movie, guys.
[0:38:24 – 0:38:25] Erik: You can make up whatever you want.
[0:38:25 – 0:38:25] Erik: It’s not real.
[0:38:25 – 0:38:26] Erik: You got prop washed.
[0:38:26 – 0:38:48] Erik: well doesn’t that wouldn’t sound like it would be very realistic yeah it could be anything maybe he like he lost control of the canoe going down some rapids and like there’s so many other lines that you could draw that would make the movie connect more than just a fucking random speed boat never see them saved wow that’s my last note i have on this one yeah it’s so unsatisfying
[0:38:50 – 0:38:52] Adam: Actually, I have another note here.
[0:38:52 – 0:38:55] Adam: A little bit further back around the hallucinating corpse zombie.
[0:38:56 – 0:38:58] Adam: This movie is just exhausting and meaningless.
[0:38:59 – 0:39:01] Adam: That’s all I felt the entire time we watched it.
[0:39:01 – 0:39:02] Adam: Exhausting.
[0:39:03 – 0:39:04] Adam: It’s just meaningless.
[0:39:04 – 0:39:05] Adam: Nothing happens.
[0:39:06 – 0:39:08] Erik: Nothing happens, and it took him five years to make it.
[0:39:09 – 0:39:10] Adam: Let’s do a movie about a guy dying.
[0:39:11 – 0:39:12] Adam: That’s literally it.
[0:39:12 – 0:39:12] Adam: That’s all you got?
[0:39:13 – 0:39:21] Adam: Nothing else happened except for a story about a speedboat, sort of a fear of water, and then they murder a rat at one point.
[0:39:21 – 0:39:22] Adam: And then there’s a pet wolf.
[0:39:23 – 0:39:23] Erik: Yeah.
[0:39:24 – 0:39:28] Erik: Clearly, probably just like the dog of the guy that owns Crooked Lake Lodge, which is real.
[0:39:28 – 0:39:29] Adam: Get old Benji out there.
[0:39:30 – 0:39:31] Adam: He’ll do anything for a biscuit.
[0:39:32 – 0:39:35] Erik: Alban, Ontario, if you want to look up where Crooked Lake Lodge is.
[0:39:36 – 0:39:48] Erik: Yeah, and there is a 41-minute making of documentary, which is like, I mean, the height of masturbation to make a documentary of a movie that is half as long.
[0:39:48 – 0:39:53] Adam: Maybe it wouldn’t have taken them five years if they would have just spent more time making the movie instead of the features.
[0:39:53 – 0:39:57] Erik: The features looked like they put more time into the documentary than the movie.
[0:39:57 – 0:40:02] Erik: The movie looked like it was filmed over the course of a weekend at a regional park in Ontario.
[0:40:02 – 0:40:06] Adam: I stick with my choice of being Candice in this Juniper gang.
[0:40:06 – 0:40:09] Adam: She was my… She actually… She’s the only one that had any common sense.
[0:40:09 – 0:40:09] Adam: Yeah.
[0:40:10 – 0:40:12] Adam: She shit her pants halfway through the movie and then left early.
[0:40:13 – 0:40:13] UNKNOWN: That’s what I want.
[0:40:14 – 0:40:35] Adam: to do i wish i would have gotten in the boat with candace and alicia and morgan yeah instead of sticking around to see old steph lose her mind and finally figure out you don’t have to drag a corpse through the woods god the movie was originally called portage that’s the other thing that would have been better i guess although they only portage once other i guess it was the portaging bushwhack
[0:40:36 – 0:40:42] Adam: Yeah, I mean… Because they only portage at the beginning and then after that they just start bushwhacking a corpse.
[0:40:43 – 0:40:44] Adam: Corpse bushwhack.
[0:40:45 – 0:40:50] Adam: Yeah, why does… Four girls, one pedophile, and a canoe that sank.
[0:40:51 – 0:40:56] Erik: Yeah, this movie made me feel all of the worst things that you shouldn’t feel when watching a movie.
[0:40:56 – 0:41:00] Erik: Super awkward about how underage girls are being filmed.
[0:41:01 – 0:41:04] Adam: Yeah, this guy was absolutely a pedophile, by the way.
[0:41:04 – 0:41:07] Adam: So, Steph, your brother wasn’t worth dragging out.
[0:41:07 – 0:41:07] Adam: Sorry.
[0:41:08 – 0:41:14] Erik: Yeah, a horribly awkward mood of light, time, and space that just didn’t make sense.
[0:41:14 – 0:41:15] Erik: What about all the close-ups?
[0:41:17 – 0:41:26] Adam: Not just of the teen bodies, but just in general, half the dialogue is just them zoomed in on one eyeball and a nose.
[0:41:26 – 0:41:27] Adam: Yeah, like this shot right here.
[0:41:27 – 0:41:28] Adam: They watch too much Lost.
[0:41:28 – 0:41:29] Adam: Yeah.
[0:41:30 – 0:41:31] Adam: Shaky zoom-ins.
[0:41:31 – 0:41:31] Adam: Yeah.
[0:41:32 – 0:41:33] Adam: I think we should go back.
[0:41:34 – 0:41:34] Adam: Okay.
[0:41:34 – 0:41:36] Adam: It was way too many close-ups.
[0:41:36 – 0:41:39] Adam: I don’t know where they got the idea for that, but…
[0:41:40 – 0:41:42] Erik: I mean, who is…
[0:41:42 – 0:41:50] Erik: I don’t understand how they even were able to get these three quotes from like… Yeah, I want to know the full quotes on these.
[0:41:50 – 0:41:55] Erik: Yeah, dot, dot, dot, tension and honest emotion, dot, dot, dot.
[0:41:55 – 0:41:56] Adam: Devoid of tension and honest emotion.
[0:41:56 – 0:41:58] Adam: Yeah, no, clearly that was pulled out of…
[0:41:59 – 0:42:00] Adam: They just removed the devoid.
[0:42:00 – 0:42:02] Erik: How was it even reviewed?
[0:42:02 – 0:42:03] Erik: That’s from the LA Times.
[0:42:04 – 0:42:08] Erik: And then dot, dot, dot, grim, comma, engrossing and effective?
[0:42:08 – 0:42:09] Erik: Yeah.
[0:42:09 – 0:42:11] Erik: That’s from Rue Morgue.
[0:42:11 – 0:42:11] Erik: I don’t even know.
[0:42:11 – 0:42:12] Adam: Rue Morgue.
[0:42:12 – 0:42:15] Adam: Is that a… Aunt of Sasha Drews.
[0:42:15 – 0:42:19] Erik: No, it’s actually from Mitch Davis, comma, Rue Morgue.
[0:42:19 – 0:42:19] Erik: Oh, I see.
[0:42:19 – 0:42:22] Erik: Like, implying that that is the publication.
[0:42:23 – 0:42:29] Erik: And then, suspenseful, character-driven, dot, dot, dot, a fresh take on the survival in wilderness genre.
[0:42:30 – 0:42:31] Erik: Not a fresh take at all.
[0:42:32 – 0:42:33] Erik: Joe Layton from Variety?
[0:42:34 – 0:42:37] Adam: You can pay for those reviews, Eric.
[0:42:37 – 0:42:38] Adam: You can get any review.
[0:42:39 – 0:42:45] Adam: I can get you a review with nail polish by 3 p.m. What’s your grade on this trash heap?
[0:42:45 – 0:42:46] Erik: I don’t even know.
[0:42:46 – 0:42:48] Erik: What’s our grading scale?
[0:42:49 – 0:42:53] Adam: Out of 100, so far we’ve been doing all our grades on a 100-point scale.
[0:42:54 – 0:43:18] Adam: um i mean i don’t usually the worst movie we’ve reviewed on i would rather classics i would rather watch gone fishing on repeat for a week straight at least gone fishing had something yeah at least it was funny and sometimes and well there was things in it you know we can we can look back and chuckle about the panama platter like there’s nothing funny or redeeming about this movie i’d ever want to yeah carry forward beyond the next 10 minutes that we’re finished talking about
[0:43:18 – 0:43:28] Erik: Almost every movie that we’ve watched so far on Tumble Home Cinema Classics has lent itself some kind of an addition to our lexicon.
[0:43:28 – 0:43:29] Erik: We still say borderline levy.
[0:43:29 – 0:43:30] Adam: Borderline levy.
[0:43:32 – 0:43:36] Erik: And almost every movie, we’ve got so many little quotes and things that we can reference.
[0:43:36 – 0:43:39] Erik: Nothing from this movie will leave an imprint on me.
[0:43:39 – 0:43:42] Erik: And I’m sorry for having spent 43 minutes talking about it.
[0:43:42 – 0:43:43] Adam: It’s been 43 minutes?
[0:43:43 – 0:43:44] Adam: I’m sorry.
[0:43:44 – 0:43:45] Adam: Let’s wrap this up.
[0:43:45 – 0:43:47] Adam: Before this corpse starts to decompose a little bit more.
[0:43:48 – 0:43:54] Erik: I’m sorry that we’ve done this to you as fine friends on Patreon who spent money to listen to this.
[0:43:54 – 0:43:55] Erik: Well, now they know to avoid it.
[0:43:55 – 0:43:57] Erik: Well, they know to avoid Surviving Crooked Lake.
[0:43:57 – 0:43:59] Adam: We should bury this DVD in a very shallow grave.
[0:43:59 – 0:44:04] Erik: Well, we should do like what the guys on Red Letter Media do when they watch something that’s this terrible.
[0:44:04 – 0:44:06] Erik: Find a fun way to destroy it.
[0:44:06 – 0:44:10] Erik: And maybe we’ll film ourselves destroying it like Steph did to that rat.
[0:44:10 – 0:44:12] Adam: You’re not going to save it for future staff at Clearwater Lodge?
[0:44:13 – 0:44:14] Erik: No, I’m going to take it out with a hatchet.
[0:44:14 – 0:44:15] Adam: At least.
[0:44:15 – 0:44:16] Adam: Just like that rat.
[0:44:16 – 0:44:16] Adam: All right.
[0:44:16 – 0:44:16] Adam: Yeah.
[0:44:16 – 0:44:17] Adam: Rat murder this thing.
[0:44:17 – 0:44:20] Erik: I’m going to rat murder surviving Crooked Lake.
[0:44:20 – 0:44:24] Erik: If you can find yourselves in the presence of… Actually, I’ll hang on to it.
[0:44:24 – 0:44:30] Erik: Any patrons out there, you want me to send it to you, I will ship it free of charge.
[0:44:31 – 0:44:34] Erik: If you can send me your address, I’ll send it.
[0:44:35 – 0:44:35] Adam: Tumble flicks.
[0:44:36 – 0:44:36] Adam: Yeah.
[0:44:36 – 0:44:36] Adam: Otherwise…
[0:44:36 – 0:44:38] Adam: I’ll mail it to you in a fine envelope.
[0:44:38 – 0:44:42] Erik: Otherwise, if I don’t hear from anybody in a week or so and I still see it…
[0:44:43 – 0:44:46] Adam: Yeah, then we’re going to blow it up or rat hatchet this thing.
[0:44:46 – 0:44:49] Adam: All right, Natalie gave it a zero out of 100.
[0:44:49 – 0:44:52] Adam: I would say pretty close to a zero for sure.
[0:44:52 – 0:44:54] Adam: Yeah, she stuck it out and watched the whole thing with me.
[0:44:55 – 0:44:57] Adam: And I gave it 11.
[0:44:57 – 0:45:00] Adam: Borderline Lebby, but mine’s not out of a 10.
[0:45:00 – 0:45:02] Adam: This is a Borderline Lebby out of 100.
[0:45:02 – 0:45:02] Adam: Sure.
[0:45:03 – 0:45:05] Adam: By far my lowest grade ever for a film.
[0:45:05 – 0:45:10] Erik: Yeah, the fact that they were able to actually get it onto a DVD gives it some points.
[0:45:10 – 0:45:10] Erik: Yeah.
[0:45:12 – 0:45:12] Erik: It’s not like…
[0:45:12 – 0:45:14] Erik: Zero would be just talking about making the movie.
[0:45:14 – 0:45:17] Adam: If somebody sent it to you on a USB stick and it was just something their cousin made.
[0:45:18 – 0:45:19] Adam: This was actually made.
[0:45:19 – 0:45:20] Adam: It was made.
[0:45:21 – 0:45:24] Adam: And they got a tax credit from the Ontario government.
[0:45:24 – 0:45:25] Erik: Well, you know how Canada is.
[0:45:25 – 0:45:26] Erik: Support your artists.
[0:45:26 – 0:45:32] Erik: Every third movie has to be made from Canada and every eighth song on the radio has to be from a Canadian artist.
[0:45:32 – 0:45:35] Adam: In a movie of terrible decisions and…
[0:45:37 – 0:45:38] Adam: Terrible storytelling.
[0:45:38 – 0:45:44] Adam: I still think the original score by Sasha Drews is the worst part of the movie.
[0:45:44 – 0:45:45] Adam: It was bad.
[0:45:45 – 0:45:49] Adam: That or the fact that they were trying to save a pedophile’s corpse for 50 minutes.
[0:45:51 – 0:45:52] Adam: That’s essentially what…
[0:45:52 – 0:45:53] Erik: He’s a pedophile.
[0:45:53 – 0:45:54] Erik: You know what?
[0:45:54 – 0:45:57] Adam: We should do him the dignity of dragging his corpse out of the woods.
[0:45:58 – 0:46:00] Adam: They should have just left him on the rock where he got impaled.
[0:46:00 – 0:46:09] Erik: I really don’t think that a male guide can go on a trip like that with underage teen girls.
[0:46:09 – 0:46:13] Erik: Especially if he clearly seemed like he was 22.
[0:46:13 – 0:46:15] Erik: I don’t think that’s legal.
[0:46:15 – 0:46:16] Adam: And smoking cigs.
[0:46:16 – 0:46:18] Erik: Smoking cigs and joints.
[0:46:18 – 0:46:19] Adam: A lot of smoking.
[0:46:20 – 0:46:21] Erik: Lots of smoking.
[0:46:21 – 0:46:22] Erik: Why are we still talking about this shit?
[0:46:22 – 0:46:23] Adam: All right, let’s wrap this thing up.
[0:46:23 – 0:46:29] Adam: For Tumble Home Cinema Classics, coming to you live from Studio K, regrettably, my name has been Adam.
[0:46:29 – 0:46:32] Erik: I’m not telling you what my name is if this exists out in the world.
[0:46:32 – 0:46:34] Adam: I’m here with Sasha Drews and Ezra Kribis.
[0:46:35 – 0:46:36] Adam: My name has been Matthew Miller.
[0:46:36 – 0:46:37] Adam: Thank you for listening.
[0:46:37 – 0:46:38] Erik: We’ll do a good one next time.
[0:46:38 – 0:46:40] Erik: I don’t know.
[0:46:40 – 0:46:42] Adam: Somebody recommend something better, please.
[0:46:42 – 0:46:42] Erik: Yeah, please.
[0:46:43 – 0:46:50] Erik: I do appreciate the recommendation that this was a recommendation from somebody, but I also… Maybe we’ll do One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest next.
[0:46:50 – 0:46:51] Adam: Just watch the best movie of all time.
[0:46:51 – 0:46:53] Adam: We’ve got to rebound on something really good here, Eric.
[0:46:53 – 0:47:11] Erik: well there’s not really i guess they do go fishing that’s right we’ve determined that’s a fishing movie we could just do the fishing scene the mimosas we got to drink while in the morning while reviewing this excellent that is the only thing that’s been worthwhile here so we’re gonna we’re gonna press uh export and hashtag no pulp
[0:47:11 – 0:47:15] Erik: Never think of this movie or these 47 minutes of my life ever again.
[0:47:15 – 0:47:17] Erik: Thank you for being there, though.
[0:47:18 – 0:47:23] Erik: We’re going to record an actual Tumble Home episode here now, now that we’ve gotten that off our chests.
[0:47:23 – 0:47:24] Erik: I had to start there.
[0:47:24 – 0:47:25] Adam: I was pretty excited.
[0:47:25 – 0:47:26] Adam: I couldn’t sleep last night.
[0:47:26 – 0:47:27] Adam: Yeah.
[0:47:28 – 0:47:29] Adam: For many reasons.
[0:47:30 – 0:47:33] Erik: Nowhere near as exciting as talking about Whitewater Summer with you.
[0:47:34 – 0:47:36] Erik: God, that just elevates that movie even higher.
[0:47:36 – 0:47:38] Adam: Whitewater Summer, we should maybe go back and add a couple points to that.
[0:47:38 – 0:47:41] Erik: I was going to say, Whitewater Summer gets an extra 10 points for me.
[0:47:41 – 0:47:44] Adam: Although their rescue scene really was also pretty weak at the end.
[0:47:45 – 0:47:47] Adam: At least they showed a plane or something.
[0:47:47 – 0:47:55] Erik: Well, yeah, and they also built like a cantilever device to haul Vic out of the… Let’s just talk about Whitewater Summer again.
[0:47:55 – 0:47:56] Erik: All right, bye.
[0:47:57 – 0:47:57] Erik: The end.
